Julie Sulie

Abhi bole to kya hota hai na: Julie aur sulie do ben log rehta hai,

ben log maane judwaa. Lekin dono main fark bole to solid.

Julie ekdum maal item, jhakaas aur sulie ekdum halki re.

To kya hota hai maloom Sulie ko bachpan se

woh kya bolte hain usko....complex rehta hai

To julie jo bhi maangti thi na.....sulie ko woh maangta hich hai.

Julie ko gudiya mila to sulie ko bhi maangta tha

Julie ko kangan mila to Sulie ko bhi mangta hai.

Aisa karte karte bees saal beet gaya.

Abhi bole to Julie ke peeche ladka log matlab fultoo fida aur sulie ko koi dekta hich nahin tha

To na Julie ka shaadi ekdum karodpati ke saath hota hai.

Aur sulie ek fatichar funtoosh se shaadi karti hai.

Shaadi ke baad julie Fridge leti hai baap.

Sulie bhi pati se fridge maangti hai.

Pati bichara garib.

Lekin biwi ko khush karne ke waaste woh Fridge khareed leta hai.

Abhi Julie agle mahine Air conditioner khareed dalti hai.

Sulie bhi jidd karti hai baap.

Bolti: AC nahin liyato khud ko tapka daloongi.

pati bichara aur aise udhaar leta hai aur AC khareed leta hai.

Ab Julie car khareedti hai.

Sulie bhi jidd karti hai.

Pati ka khopdi satakta hai lekin phir bhi saala karega kya

pitaji ka zameen bech dalta hai aur gaadi khareedta hai.

thode dinon ke baad Julie gaadi bech ke bus khareedti hai.

Sulie jidd karti hai Abhi pati solid bhadakta hai baap.

bolta hai "Ae chokri bahut ho gaya tera natak. Abhi apun tera ek nahin sunega. Apun jaa rahela hai"

To Sulie ko chodke woh chala jaata hai.

Sulie lekin saali haram khor apni gaadi bechkar Aur paisa market

se uthkar bus khareed leti hai.

To Julie aur sulie apne apne bus main Ek din picnic ko jaata hai.

Bus ko park karke woh log ghoomne phirne ko jaata hai.

Wapas aake dekhta hai to saala bus main steering wheel gaayab, seat gaayab, gear gaayab.

Sulie julie ko dekhti hai aur kuch to bolti hai Ekdum simple koschan:

Sulie julie ko kya bolti hai??

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Abe soch......

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haar maan gaya kya???

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Accha chal bolich dalta hoon:

NA KUCH TERE BUS MAIN JULIE NA KUCH MERE BUS MAIN.

Another One

What's this?







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AnekTA me ekTA

Dominoes

What's the opposite of "Dominoes"???

think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think

tired of thinking???

Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"

Chennai

Do you know why the name of Madras was replaced by
Chennai???

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Think......
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Think..
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Bit more.......
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Because...a Madrassi wears lungi and there is no zip means
chen..nai...

Teacher Student

Teacher: 'A' for?
Student: Apple !!!
Teacher: Jor se bolo
Student: JAI MATA DI

Heart Attack

1) Smoking
2) Drinking
3) Charas
4) Ganja
5) Chicken
6) Mutton
7) Oily food
8) Masala
9) Sleep & obesity
10) Pollution

= Heart Attack

Matlab

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scroll down

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DUS bahane karke le gaye DIL !!

Guitar (Hindi)

Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki.

shivji khush .

Prakat hue ...

bole ...

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puttar maang ...

maang kya chahiye tujhey !

bakth utha ...

bole shivji ...

mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do !

shivji bole kaisa gadha hai ?

unhone kaha ... puttar ...

tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai ...

kuch bada maang !

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wo fir bola ... nahi ji ..mujhey to aap guitar hi do

shivji ne phir samajhaya .. abey .. kuch dhang ka maang ...
!

par wo to ada hi hua tha ... bola nahi ... aap to mujhey
guitar hi do !

shivji usey bade pyaar se khopch me lekar samjhane lage ...
bole ..yaar tu

kuch aur maang .. guitar

na maang ...

wo bola ... nahi nahi nahi !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye
... ab

shivji gussey main aa gaye ... boley ,(scroll down)

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saale .. agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo
bajata :)

Sita aur Geeta (Hindi)

Ek Gaaon me Seeta aur Geeta do Behane rehati hai.
Dono ko ek baar nadi paar karanee hoti hai.
Seeta nadee me kudati hai aur tairake jaatee hai.
Geeta pool ke upar se chalake jaati hai.
Phir bhi Gaaon ke log bolate hai ki Seeta Geeta se jyada
intellegent hai.

Kyon?
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Kyon?
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Socho.
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Nahi pata?
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Kyonki
Seeta ko Geeta se S.S.C ke exam me jyada marks milate hai.

Auto Main Aadmi (Hindi)

Ek baar ek aadmi ek auto mein baithta hai aur ghar le jaane

ko bolta hai..

 

Autowala, yeh dekhkar ki aadmi sheher mein naya hai,bahut

ghuma phira ke le jaata hai aur bahut charge kar deta hai.

 

Ghar pahunchte pahunchte bahut der ho jaati hai aur andhera

ho jaata hai.

 

Aadmi pehle se hi bahut frustrated hai aur ghar jaake dekhta

hai ki bijli nahi hai.

 

Par aadmi ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhayee deta hai.

 

Kaise???

 

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Kyonki autowala aadmi ko ULLOO bana deta hai aur usko raat

ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhta hai.

 

Ultimate PJ

Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the velocity of light.

On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.

 

Stranger: 'Sir, can I know your name please'

Gulshan: 'I am Gulshan Grocer'

Stranger: Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan Grover??

Gulshan: No it is Grocer.

 

Now tell me why did Gulshan say so...

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scroll down for the ultimate PJ

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Further…

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Little further...

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ANS: Because at the speed of light V=C

Hero Kaun?

Ram ne Sita se vivaah kiya,
Ravan ne Sita ka apaharan kiya,
Hanuman ne Sita ko bachaya,
To ab ye batao ki vastav mein hero kaun hai?

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Scroll down for the answer

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Sanjay Dutt !!! :-)
SAWAL theek se padho !

More Deadly PJs

Q1. A man is riding on his bike through a very dense forest in the evening.
After about an hour he sees a peacock appear all of a sudden in the way -
and the peacock is smiling at him.
The man feels its kinda weird and carries on traveling. Another hour passes
and he sees the same peacock again in the middle of the road smiling at him.
The man is a little scared now, but says to himself that he is just tired
and is just imagining things and carries on with his ride.
Yet another hour passes and he finds the peacock again appearing out of
nowhere smiling at him.........

Why is this happening?????

Q2. In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, and the water level of
the pond increases. How?

Q3. A women goes in an Auto (rickshaw) and gets bald??? How???

Q4. Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) : Phulwa, RaamPyaari, RaamDulari,
RaamPuri and RaamChuri were crawling on the wall when all of a sudden,
Phulwa started to sing a song.
The moment Phulwa stopped singing the song, RaamPyaari,RaamDulari, RaamPuri
and RaamChuri fell down from the wall !!!...
WHY ???

Q5. Gattu ek lecture attend karta hai. lecture ke baad use bhookh lagti hai.
So he goes to the canteen. canteen mein gattu ek pav leta hai.
jaise hi woh pav khane ke liye uthata hai to dekhta hai ki uski plate mein
"jannat" likha hai.
To janaab ab aapko yeh batana hai ki gattu jiska lecture attend karke aa
raha hai! , us professor ka naam kya hai???

Q6. What wud u call a Gal who never laughs....?

Q7. Question:Whatz a PJ ?
Answer: Obviously "a poor joke"
Question: Whatz a (P + i J)?
Answer: "complex poor joke"
But why don't people laugh on a "complex poor joke" ?

8. Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2
cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette.
You don't have anything else with you in the boat?
How will you do it?

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ANSWERSSS!!!!

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1. Because the man is riding TVS Victor and so "More smiles per hour".
NOTE: (for the firangs and duffers - a 'More' is a peacock in Hindi)

2. The other 9 fish are crying.................

3. Automatically ( Auto-Mein-Takli).....:)

4. coz, they all started clapping !!!!

5. The answer is :Ishq Ki Chhaon.
Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon"
"Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi....
Don't scratch ur head, this is a song from the film "Dil Se"

6. - HASINA !

7. Bcoz the joke part of it is imaginary.

8. Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become
LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other cigarette.

Another deadly answer:
Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win
Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette

If that was not enough, one more deadly answer
Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)
"TIP TIP barsa Pani.Pani ne aag lagayee."
us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".

Sada and Ada

Once upon a time, Sada and Ada , visited the coal mine to find some diamonds.
Sada takes a right and Ada turns left.
Sada has only a shovel, but Ada had sophisticated diamond mining tools.
Yet, Sada finds a diamond but Ada doesn't (even after digging for 10 kms) !!!


Why ??

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Kyonki...Hira hai Sada ke liye!!!

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